Drunk Recognition
by xXTeenLionessXx
Summary: Lust is undercover in the Military looking for information and instead, A drunk Roy stumbles upon her! Slight RoyxLust but Mostly Royai (( Sorry if anone is OOC! ))


"Rizaaaa~ "

The Commanding officer grinned idiotically as he leaned his weight onto his Lieutenant's back, his face flushed along with the strong smell of whiskey that he had snuck into work at lunchtime, his arms wrapping around her slim shoulders...Hm..were they always this cold? Eh don't matter~ he was with Rizaaa~

With his eyes closed in a blissful daze...he had no idea he slumped against...Lust who was in disguising herself by wearing their Uniform and having put her hair up in a bun almost like Riza's..With Roy in a drunken daze he never registered Lust's hair colour..

Lust kept her smirk hidden under her disguise, however couldn't help but crinkle her nose at the strong scent of booze that lingered over the Colonel. How stupid... He thought that Lust was his precious Riza. Pathetic man. Was he never told that Alcohol was bad for you?

"W..where have you been? " He hiccuped asking her, unknowing who it really was.

"I-I've been l-looking for you! C-cause you..you know H-Hughes...the guy with the specs...you know him? " He babbled using a range of hand signals and shapes to help in his description.

"I know exactly who you are on about, Sir. What is it about Hughes that troubles you?" Hearing his slurred words Lust couldn't help but be ever more amused by this.

"Well He said, HE Said...I should go home..cause he thought the most ridiculous thing! " he slurred an amused grin on his face along with a snicker as if he was ready to tell the punchline of a joke. "I think you're the one being ridiculous, sir. Have you been drinking per chance?" She asked, she knew of course but if Roy were to think she was his... Little Riza, then she should play the part.

"H-He thinks I'm drunk! " He finished cracking into fits of laughter ignoring the women's question, one arm around her shoulders and the other holding his splitting sides.

"But sir... You ARE drunk."

"No no no I'm not~ " He waved his hand at the theory as if it was mere nonsense "I have had a drink..well.." He looked at his hands counting then held up five fingers and two on the other "..7..actually.." He hiccuped sudden ly causing his body to jolt in a deep squeak. Lust perked a little, raising both her brows shockingly. "You had seven drinks sir?" Took Lust the first sip of Alcohol and she was drunk. However that may be because she is a Homunculus... No, wait that wouldn't make any sense. Envy and Greed drink, it takes them a couple to get drunk! Maybe it's because Lust just didn't drink anyway...

"Y-yeah...and my feet are all..jiggly " He giggled leaning into her, resting his head on her shoulder grinning like an idiot, his arms wrapping around her shoulders to keep himself upright.

"Jiggly, sir? I don't think your feet can do that..."

Roy just giggled again in response and butted his nose into the collar of her uniform shutting his eyes taking in the scent ..Mm..Riza..

Rolling her eyes she averted her gaze, feeling his body slump behind her with his arms wrapped on her shoulders. "You know... Alcohol isn't very good for you, sir. You shouldn't drink so much..."

"Mmm..I haven't drank..in ages, T-the boys suggested to.." he answered truthfully, nuzzling into her shoulder.

"So you followed the boy's, sir? I thought you were better than that." Lust sighed with a roll of her eyes, feeling his face nuzzle into her shoulder. Hmph. At least he was being truthful...but he was still an idiot.

"No..they dragged me there! "

"Of course they did, sir."

The Colonel pouted and nuzzled further into her shoulder, still believing that it really was his beloved Motherly Lieutenant. Lust chuckled under her breath at the Colonel. Stupid... The wonders of Alcohol and what it does to a man. "It's ok sir." She raised a hand, patting his head.

"Riza..." He started as she patted down his black spiked hair "S..should I g-go home? Like H..Hughes said? C-caaause I wanted to see what y-you'd say! Cause I wanted to know what you think, C-cause you always know what to do! and cause you know everything.." The Colonel's overuse of the word 'cause' Played like a broken record.

"I think that would be a good idea, sir. If you get some rest you'll be better for tomorrow. However I cannot doubt you getting a headache in the morning."

"N..not if I drink some water.." He countered with a proud snicker, He may be drunk but he knew what to drink!

"Of course, sir. That's a good boy. Make sure you drink plenty of water." Lust smiled, however it as purely fake. Removing her hand from his head and slowly caressing it down his cheek. Just because Roy thought she was Riza doesn't mean Lust couldn't have her fun too. He let his eyes slide closed feeling her gentle hand run down his face making him tilt his head into it, sighing through his nose softly.  
"Mmm.."

A dark chuckle erupted from her throat which seemed unphased by the drunk commanding officer ""Hehehe... Come on, lets get you home."

"O-okay..." He nodded as he made an attempt to stand up straight, his arm around her shoulders to keep himself balanced on his feet. Exiting the Central building into the late evening darkness, once outside Roy had became as if he had ADHD...Liking everything and looking at everything around him.

"Hehe...the lights shining down on us~ "

Lust looked up at the lights, before glancing back at the dazed Roy. Raising a brow she just shook her head continueing on, having to tug him lightly by the amount of distractions made by everything Roy saw that seemed to fascinate him...

After a few more minutes of walking ahead Roy suddenly halted to a complete stop and seemed to lean down, his hand reaching down.  
"Aww~ " He had come to a complete stop...to pet a ginger cat..

Being jerked into a firm hault Lust nearly stumbled forward, only to have regain her steps as she looked back to see what made the Colonel stop. "Sir?" Looking down she saw the ginger cat, frowning. "Come on sir." She yanked him forward away from the animal, it was just like being with a child!

Just as his gloved hands made contact with the ginger fur on on the cat's head he was yanked away making him release a somewhat whine.

"Kittyyyy..."

"Sir if it makes you feel any better I'll go to he Pet Shop and get you a kitty." Lust snorted with words of lies. But if it was to keep him happy, then so be it.

"Naaah~ " He said waving his hand "I'm..more of a dog pershon anyway~ " Roy slurred and rested his head on her shoulder, humming softly.

"Then I'll get you a puppy. How does that sound?" She questioned over her shoulder at him.

"I like puppies~.." He swooned a goofy smile coming to his face "Hehe~ They're sho cute..and loyal..no paychecks.." he drabbled beginning to trail off as he began to extend into the tired part of the drunkness, beginning to slump as he began falling asleep on his feet, feeling his weight increase behind her Lust watched him slumped tiredly on her back. "Oh, god..." Pushing herself up-right she grabbed Roy firmly by the shoulders, backhanding him across the cheek. "Sir!"

Roy winced at the stinging sensation in his face, he blinked his bleary eyes open at the supposed Lieutenant.."...Yes Lieutenant? " He asked casually, as if he wasn't as drunk as he was.

"Keep on your feet, sir. I don't want to be having to drag you home myself with you on my back." Hooking her arms with his she pulled him with her.

"Yes yes...Sorry Hawkeye~ " He apologized with a small snicker and seemed to do his best to keep himself up as he walked the rest home with her, When people passed it earned a few snickers..

Once home, Roy reached into his pockets, rummaging for his keys..

Lust dipped her head down as people snickered at the drunk Roy, rolling her eyes in humiliation. "Stupid fool..." She murmered to herself, sending glares to those who found it amusing making their heads turn in fright.

Coming to a hault outside his door Lust awaited for him to get his keys out, pulling out the ring holding a few keys, he blinked trying to regain his normal vision but now he had like...18 keys! Ugh..Which..one?  
"l-lieutenant.." He hiccuped "W-Which one's my key? "

The Homunculus eyebrow twitched in annoyance she was usually patience but the man was making it run dry, frowning at his foolish question. "Sir, I believe it's that one." She pointed at the one he was already holding.

"Ah..Nice work " he praised before shoving the key into the door..missing the lock, god dammit...it was running away from the key! After a small attempts he finally unlocked his door and opened his door...

"Very good sir. You finally placed the key in the lock..." She mumbled in sarcasm, after havng watched him in many attempts trying to unlock the door to his house...

"Thank you~ " he said quite proudly with a devious smirk, he kicked the door shut lazily behind him as he came inside his living room, his head lulled to the side to gaze at his supposed 'Lieutenant' with drunk vision eyes "...We're alone~ "

"Yes... We are indeed." Walking into the room she let her gaze wonder around the darkness that englufed it, getting rather bored in playing Liuetenant...

He leaned forward, his nose butting into her cheek in a loving nuzzle, the arm that was flung over her shoulders tightened as he pulled her closer into an embrace, his lips brushing against her cheek. Lust lowered her brows curiously at his actions. "Um... Roy? What are you doing?" She didn't need an answer to feel his grip tighten on her shoulders with his lips brushing against her cheek, Taking a blushing tint to them Lust purred, but... Remembered he was drunk, he wasn't think straigh and began trying to push him away. "N-no sir. You're drunk." But he didn't stop, his lips continue to place small slobbery kisses on her strangely pale cheek as her hands continued to push on his chest, he drew them closer and closer to Lust's midnight ones.

"Roy... No!" She said sternly, attempting to still push him away with her hands pressed to his chest, however he just seemed to get closer. "Sir!" Raising a hand she slapped him across the cheek, though she didn't want to do it... It had to be done.

Roy blinked a few times as his arms loosened allowing her to finally step away, his hand reaching up to rub the red print on his cheek in hope to ease the stinging sensation on his skin, his glazed eyes going to the ground.  
"H..Hawkeye...I-I'm sorry..I.."

"It's ok sir. You're drunk. You didn't mean too." Lust said in a sigh, folding her arms under her unsually large breasts and turning her head from him. Well, it was fun playing Riza for a while... But now it was just getting annoying.

Seeing her not wanting to look at him, he frowned with the look of forlorn..He wobbly but steadied himself over, his arms wrapping around his 'Lieutenant' around her shoulders gently, his face burying into her shoulder muffling a sniffle.  
"Ugh... S-sir? You ok?" She lifted her head to turn to see his face burried into her shoulder with a sniff.

Obviously not, The colonel didn't like to be slapped and thing that got him the most! He thinks Riza didn't like him anymore..that she won't be at his side like she would always be...

He sniffed again as tears began to leak from his eyes..He couldn't lose Riza..

Exhaling softly through parted lips Lust stroked her hand through his hair, beginning to feel her shoulder dampen by his tears. "Sorry, sir... I didn't mean to slap you like that."  
"I-I'm sorry..I-I deserved that slap.."  
"No... I, could of sorted that out differently."

Roy's figure suddenly shivered in a wracked sob, his face nuzzling into the blue inform.  
"Sir... Please... Don't cry..." Oh, great now you've done it Lust. Sighing she turned herself around, placing her midnight lips against his forehead in a light kiss, bringing the sobbing Colonel into her embrace. He sniffled as she brought him into a hug, his arms hugging her back tightly, he swore he could feel the tingling in his forehead, holding him close she rested her chin on his shoulder, giving his neck a tender nuzzle. "Sorry, sir..."

He lifted a wrist to wipe his wet face, using his sleeve with a soft sniffle, pursing her lips Lust again placed another tender kiss on his damp cheeks, caressing her thumb gently on the tears that streamed down wiping them away, he leaned into her motherly and tender touch as she wiped his tears away, resting his head on her shoulder as his body's shivers had calmed.

"There, there..." She cooed, stroking her gloved hand through his hair soothingly.

"T-thanks..R-riza.." He hiccuped softly, a blush on his cheeks overcoming the drunk flush as she stroked though his ebony spikes.

"You're welcome... Sir." Wondering to herself she was beginning to think... Was he clearly THAT drunk to by now not even realize who she was? Letting it subside Lust continued to caress her hand through the Colonel's hair, her shoulder now feeling rather damp where he had been crying so much...

Colonel lifted a gloved hand to his lips where the parted in a soft yawn, he gave a hum shutting his eyes he embraced the sweet feeling of her fingers through his hair. Catching the yawn Lust couldn't help but smile into a chuckle amusingly by it. "Tired, sir?"

"Mmm...I believe so Lieu..te..Lieu.." He pinched the bridge of his nose, Ah..now he couldn't say Lieutenant with all his slurring.

Lust chuckled at his attempt to say the word, Lieutenant. "Come on. Lets get you to bed." She had done this many of times before with Wrath, it wouldn't make such a difference now. Apart from Roy being a grown man...

Roy hiccuped in response along with a nod, sounded like a good idea..he was feeling really tired now yet for some reason was craving pork scratchings..maybe cause he had a few packets of those back at the pub, he kept his head laid on her shoulder with half lidded eyes. Hooking his arm over her shoulder she helped him along in his drunken steps, nearly stumbling a few times when he placed all his weight on her from exhaustion to continue on.

"Ugh... This is going to be harder than I thought." Lust mumbled to herself.

Roy reached out to grab the banister as they began to head up stairs, placing his weight now on there as they went up giving Lust some break as they went up the stairs, Steadying him up the stairs she stood behind him, incase Roy were to lose his balance and tumble backwards. "Easy, sir..."

He gave a small nod as he walked upstairs, his hand clenching onto it white banister as he came up the final steps, he seemed very afraid to let go of the balancer..afraid he'll fall if he did let go.

"Come on sir. I've got you." She smiled, placing her hands gently on his waist, A blush came to his face as she gently took hold of his waist, his eyes shutting to embrace the sweet feeling of her hands on him "Mmm.." He hummed and mumbled which was so slurred that it couldn't be understood.

"Sir?" Leaning to the side to peer up at his expression she wondered why he wouldn't move. "It's ok. I'll catch you if you fall." Lust chuckled, giving him a light push to edge him forward. He lifted his arm to hook around Lust's neck as he let go of the banister beginning to go toward his door, taking hold of his door handle and opened..

Lust hooked her arm around his shoulder and her hand placed on his that was in hers. "There you go..." Finally as Roy let go of the banister heading towards his bedroom door. Giving her hand a somewhat squeeze he came into his dark bedroom, the window gave a sort of light showing off his kingsized double bed as they came into his bedroom..

Letting he gaze trail around the room Lust helped him over to the large bed, sitting him down. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" She said as she adjusted the bun in her hair, letting it down. He shook his head and blinked his blurry eyes, his eyes widening seeing the dark locks fall down her back..wait..Hawkeye's hair was never black and THAT long.

Shaking her head she tossed her hair over her shoulder, staring down at his puzzled expression. Taking a smirk to her lips the Homunculus folded her arms. "Finally caught on now, haven't you?"

"..Your not Hawkeye..." His eyes narrowed as his bleary eyes caught her smirking face, seeing its true colours finally controlling well..trying to calm his drunk vision.

"No I am not. Though I helped you, didn't I?" Lust said in a true point, gazing into his eyes that narrowed at her unphased.

"I..I suppose b-but..Where is..Hawkeye? "  
"You gave her the day off, remember? " With the Hawkeye women not in gthe office that day, It was somewhat easier to sneak inside, That women was constantly at the Colonel's side.

"O..oh yeah..." His hands drifted up sliding off his blue military letting it drop to the floor as he sunk back on his bed..  
"..Come here.."

Lust watched as he slipped off his military jacket, blinking as he called her over. With a smirk she followed his commandment. "Yes~?"

He reached up, taking her hand and gave her a yank, pulling her onto the bed with him, his arms wrapping around her waist, Spooning the poor women, He was drunk and tired and didn't care for who he had began to cuddle up to in his bed, You could say that he just enjoyed the company..

Yelping surprisingly as he firmly yanked her onto the bed Lust blinked followed by a squirm, unable to move herself as Roy tightly constricted his arms around her waist. Feeling him press into her back her cheeks flushed. "Always were clingy..." She murmered, looking over her shoulder at him. His face nuzzled into her ebony locks as his arms stayed around her waist, his legs slightly tangling with hers as he finally was going to get some rest..

Lust sighed returning her gaze ahead of her, allowing her predatory eyes to give off a cats eyes glow when the street lights from outside came to eye line of vision, She would wait to the man was fully asleep till leaving him to it, He could sort himself out in the morning and will most likely get a word from Riza.

But Roy was lucky to have someone like Riza in his life, A day without her was a bad one...Obviously telling by his drunkness, Without her at his side...Well, Who would he be now? 


End file.
